Wrong Candor
In the world of management and leadership, certain books become foundational texts that shape our understanding and approach to guiding teams. One of the most highlighted books, which has inspired countless managers, is “Radical Candor” by Kim Scott. Its principles challenge us to confront the age-old struggle of balancing empathy with tough feedback.
I have been managing and leading teams for more than a decade, and I found myself reflecting on my own management experiences—moments where I navigated the tricky terrain of providing constructive criticism while maintaining strong relationships with people, as well as how others give feedback.
The Radical Candor Approach
The Radical Candor approach, as articulated by Kim Scott, emphasizes the importance of combining care and directness in communication within teams. At its core, Radical Candor encourages leaders to show genuine concern for their team members while also being willing to challenge them directly when necessary. This entails creating an environment where honest, constructive feedback can be exchanged without fear of offending anyone. Scott categorizes feedback into four quadrants: Radical Candor (caring personally while challenging directly), Ruinous Empathy (caring personally but failing to challenge), Manipulative Insincerity (neither caring nor challenging), and Obnoxious Aggression (challenging directly without caring). By aiming for Radical Candor, managers can create stronger relationships, encourage personal growth, and ultimately drive a culture of trust and high performance.
The problem
The easiest and most comfortable place to be is in Ruinous Empathy. You create a friendly environment and give positive feedback, but you struggle to challenge or give hard feedback. This is where probably all new managers will be, but they will feel that they do not get changes when they need them, and people do not grow.
Transitioning from Ruinous Empathy to Radical Candor can be challenging for many people, and often, in their eagerness to provide the necessary feedback, they mistakenly leap to Obnoxious Aggression. This occurs when they feel the need to assert authority or address issues directly without first establishing a foundation of trust and care. As a result, their feedback can come across as harsh or uncaring, leading to defensiveness rather than growth. This shift usually stems from the frustration of avoiding difficult conversations for too long; when they finally decide to speak up, they may do so with a level of bluntness that disregards the personal connection. Thus, instead of fostering a culture of openness and collaboration, they inadvertently create an environment of fear and tension, which undermines the very relationships they aimed to strengthen.
The solution
Feedback doesn’t always have to be immediate
Waiting for a more suitable moment can be beneficial for the situation and the receiver. Taking the time to observe and reflect before giving feedback allows for a more thoughtful and constructive response. For instance, if an employee has made a mistake during a project, addressing it immediately may lead to defensiveness or heightened emotions. Instead, waiting a few days until the team has had an opportunity to process the situation can foster a more open dialogue and collaboration toward improvement. This careful timing demonstrates respect and understanding for the receiver’s feelings, ultimately enhancing the effectiveness of the feedback.
Feedback is not always needed
It’s essential to recognize that not every situation warrants feedback. Sometimes, you may encounter a minor issue that does not significantly impact the overall performance or morale of the team. In such cases, focusing on constructive elements or acknowledging good performance can be more critical. Additionally, waiting for more evidence can reinforce your arguments when the need for feedback arises. For example, if you observe recurring patterns in behavior or performance that necessitate feedback, you’ll be more equipped to present a compelling and informed perspective to the individual involved.
Feedback shouldn’t be based on subjective observations
It should involve clear, objective criteria. To make your feedback more effective, ensure you provide multiple examples that illustrate the behavior or performance in question. Basing feedback on agreed expectations fosters a sense of fairness and clarity. For instance, if a team member has not met certain deadlines, it's essential to reference specific agreed-upon timelines and the impact of missed deadlines on the project outcomes. This approach not only makes the feedback more actionable but also reduces the risk of misinterpretation and helps the receiver understand exactly what changes are necessary to achieve the desired improvements.
